So you were badly treated when you were a kid and now that's overshadowing your life and affecting the present and future of your existence.
Well, I want you to know that your bad treatment doesn't make YOU bad, it makes THEM bad - the people who treated you badly. I covered this in more detail in the blog post immediately before this one - "Believing in Yourself" - so go ahead and read that first to get the background because this article kind of follows on from that.
O.K., so now you're back! Now that you know that thinking there must be something wrong with you to be treated that way is a false belief that serves no useful purpose, what are you going to do with the past experiences you have had? Are they always going to be something you have to drag around with you through your life, like an unwanted piece of baggage?
That's what I thought for many years. My father's treatment of me when I was a kid cast a huge shadow over my life and I wondered whether I would have to carry it for the rest of my life.
However, when I hit 40, my life was transformed when I realized my experiences could help me to understand and assist my high school students with their personal problems and self-esteem issues. I was able to understand their feelings much better than any other teacher. Now this understanding is extremely valuable, and it helps my life and helps my students. Writing this article and giving out advice like this to others are additional ways to help them and to reach out to people like YOU. So I suppose I should say, "Thanks, Dad, for beating me up when I was a kid - now I can make the world a better place."
If all this seems a little far-fetched to you, well, it isn't. This transformation has happened to me, and I am a very average and ordinary person. It can happen to you, too!
An important consideration in building your dream life is that it should incorporate many, if not all, the aspects of your life - both good and bad. Some people try to create a dream life in an attempt to run away from the past and build a better life for the future. However, I have to tell you that any realistic plan to create a truly meaningful dream life that will make you happy must incorporate the negative things you have experienced, since it is the healing and transformation of these things in life that brings happiness and peace. So now in my life, what I thought was worthless garbage has turned out to be one of the most important things - "That which the builders thought was worthless has become the capstone", as the good book says. People say, "one man's trash is another man's treasure", but why can't your trash become your treasure, too?
So don't forget your past experiences, good or bad, in your plans to build the life of your dreams. Instead of running away from them, start thinking about trying to incorporate them into your vision. I think you will find that this will bring greater meaning and fulfillment into your life, and give you the peace and contentment that you seek.
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